I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
