i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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