Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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