Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
