I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
love makes seman taste better
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
