Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
