We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
