I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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