she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
