I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
