why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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