My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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