Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
