Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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