In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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