i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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