I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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