sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
