Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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