We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
