fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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