Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
