You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
