Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
