i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
