how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
