sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
