the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Vodka?
Forever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
