I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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