would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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