just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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