my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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