8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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