From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
