I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
