Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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