You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
