I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just want to make out with him forever
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
