How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm too high and old for this...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
