I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
