i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
