There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can I color on your dick again?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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