would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
