i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
