Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
