I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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