I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
