Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If that was your dad, he is hot
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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