I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
