Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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